June 24, 2015's Weekly Slap:


“Beach Slapped” is what it is because from the moment I first came to the Oregon Coast, most every moment I lived here, and even my last hours here, it was always about the beach. That wasn’t always true of my life, and perhaps that’s been my problem.

Growing up in Colorado, I was a long way from the beach. I don’t care what anyone says, lounging next to a giant lake/ civic water supply is not the beach.


BartonGroverHowe.com:Where to keep up with humor writer Barton Grover Howe. Here, you'll find all of his Beach Slapped columns from The News-Times in Lincoln County, Oregon, excerpts from his latest books and the occasional random musing that would get him fired if he published it in a family newspaper.

Random Strands

According to Dictionary.com, strand is both:
1) a thread or thread-like part of anything, or,
2)
the
land bordering the sea, a lake, or a river; shore; beach.
     The writings below match up nicely with either definition as all of them take place near some body of water and they're all sort of random parts of my weird little world. Written for a variety of reasons, some were my take on the local history of Lincoln County, Oregon, a subject I have returned to more than once in my Beach Slapped columns. Others were columns I wrote just because something struck me as funny, but there was just never a reason to print.
     And the last, "The Flying Starfish of Death," was my first real attempt at humor writing. I'm proud to say people loved it, and I did, too. Both feelings gave me the confidence to believe I could actually do this on a regular basis -- usually.

Local History: A whale of a deal for just $14.95 - March, 2006
Local History: A crabby nation celebrates - May, 2006
Local History: Lighting the way for ghosts and toupees - July, 2006
Local History: Swimming, sinking, and swimming along - August, 2006
Lost Column: The WORLD'S MOST DISTASTEFUL WORD is a pain in the ass - June, 2006
Lost Column: A professional lack of Style - October, 2005
Lost Column: An addiction is a terrible thing to waste - October, 2005
Lost Column: Swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool - June, 2006
Lost Column: Potluck ethics and other party ponderables - September, 2010

And the one that started it all: