June 24, 2015's Weekly Slap:

“Beach Slapped” is what it is because from the moment I first came to the Oregon Coast, most every moment I lived here, and even my last hours here, it was always about the beach. That wasn’t always true of my life, and perhaps that’s been my problem.

Growing up in Colorado, I was a long way from the beach. I don’t care what anyone says, lounging next to a giant lake/ civic water supply is not the beach.

BartonGroverHowe.com:Where to keep up with humor writer Barton Grover Howe. Here, you'll find all of his Beach Slapped columns from The News-Times in Lincoln County, Oregon, excerpts from his latest books and the occasional random musing that would get him fired if he published it in a family newspaper.


A recovering mascot after working with Disney On Ice, The Colorado Rockies and the University of Missouri, Barton Grover Howe is now a high school teacher, newspaper columnist and novelist living in Lincoln City, Oregon. Married with a toddler daughter, he has suddenly come to the realization that every Jimmy Buffett song is about him in some way, shape or form. Indeed, the only thing keeping him from a massive mid-life crisis is that he did every immature thing he possibly could in his 30's and feels no need to do them all again. That, and he bought a bright red convertible -- just in case.

He can be contacted at:

3780 Spyglass Ridge Drive • Lincoln City • Oregon 97367